You’ll get your share one day…

In life, you might run into so many things that once looked so great in the mental image you drew in your mind yet slightly different in reality. I know it’s scary, but you’ll find your way around it. 
We humans, we were created that way with an imagination that drives us mad sometimes…

We set standards to almost everything we choose, but what are standards anyway? I’ve personally thought of it many times and I’ve came to a realization it might change one day but at least for now it makes perfect sense in my head and from where I stand. This realization is basically that standards is the shelf that we tend to hang our expectations of almost everything we approach, so when our expectations fail us we resort to the standards shelf and basically claim that it did not meet our standards for whatever deficiency we found. Unfair I know! 

Those what so-called “deficiencies” that made our expectations fail, they are only that to your own expectation. Not necessarily a real deficiency! Take a minute, take a deep breath and look at it from a different aspect it might find another access to you and truly prove that your expectations are vague and fantasies of the small safe world you’ve created in your brain. 
Life isn’t basic neither are we. Unpleasant surprises are surrounding us, it’s life again… it’s exciting! Waking up every day not knowing what will happen, scary but the roller coaster of life… oh yeah, we dig it!

“I’ll have my share today”. I’ve taught myself to wake up to this thought everyday for the past 5 years, and I’ve made everyday since that day. 
Doubt will have a share as well, as long as choices and decisions find away your way you’ll face doubt. I’d rather not describe doubt because it’ll always take us back to zero, yet I’d take advantage of doubt and turn it into faith, because yeah I’ll have my share one day…
Don’t try to figure out life nor play it out, I won’t tell you to go with the flow either. But the best action chosen would be, be elastic… basically! And trust me that you will have your share one day. 

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The soul of violin

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They say violins are a sad sound, they cut the heart open and may tear it into pieces sometimes. But what if it’s a relief to some of us? What if it leads some of us to that light at the end of the road?. Violin is an emotional instrument, it’s the heart of the instrumental body. It adds to every moment that life motif, a motif each soul adds to the body, each flame adds to fire and each word adds to a sentence. That sound that gives you this dashing shudder. That sound that forbids your steps to walk ahead that one very painful step, that goodbye step. That sound that leans in front of you, takes your hand and leash comfort for you to fall into that ocean of love. Not all of us may deeply accommodate and feel music, but violins are making a whole new sound of music, sound of life. They might take your anger in and transpose it into a battle, take your most frustrated indescribable sadness and put it into words and swap your innocent humble love story into a Romeo and Juliet all time favorite novel. Gentle soft fingers or rough grip can dance on the strings of a violin, but it only takes a thoughtful emotionally full heart to dance with it. It’s an instrument that has a soul, it’s an instrument that gives away souls.

Thoughts and Hangovers

Here we are another day and essentially another night, do we really lay our heads away each night on the thought of tomorrow or do we choose to lay them to what dreams can draw?. A drawing that can only fetch pleasure to our minds. What is pleasure?, Perhaps it is that feeling that fulfills each aspect of the soul, mind and body. That feeling where we never dream to snap back to planet earth. Yet once we latch to that heavenly sensation of it, it can be so harmful and wrecking, sometimes! Commonly, we choose to pursue what our souls, minds and bodies desire; seeking to reach that top of the hill where we lock our dreams, pleasure and aspirations; to have not much of a thought nearly to it in reality. Another morning with the hangovers of tomorrow’s thoughts.

illusions

rouenmorgan

So here is the thing i’m just gonna let go of my mental pen therefore I’ll let it fly and spin.

As I still refrained from talking and explaining, you on the other side thinking why would she bother and still be here?. I was there while you knew me well, I’ve done it and I’ve behaved on behalf of my free will…

Waking up one day next to an empty side of the bed, tracking shadows around the house. Remembering every corner despite the fact that you have never existed in any; yet I’ve sensed you in every part of it.

Asking myself where, when and how? out of thought? or denial?. How can one heart split yet still pulsates?, how can one soul lit without its own spark of life?. No you wouldn’t be here to answer all of these questions!. It’s just a lonely hour that shall no comfort…

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illusions

So here is the thing i’m just gonna let go of my mental pen therefore I’ll let it fly and spin.

As I still refrained from talking and explaining, you on the other side thinking why would she bother and still be here?. I was there while you knew me well, I’ve done it and I’ve behaved on behalf of my free will…

Waking up one day next to an empty side of the bed, tracking shadows around the house. Remembering every corner despite the fact that you have never existed in any; yet I’ve sensed you in every part of it.

Asking myself where, when and how? out of thought? or denial?. How can one heart split yet still pulsates?, how can one soul lit without its own spark of life?. No you wouldn’t be here to answer all of these questions!. It’s just a lonely hour that shall no comfort occur.

As I’ve seen us grew each hour and each day, as I’ve witnessed us killing us softly and slowly, yet somehow we guaranteed ourselves that no matter how this might be severe we shall be holding on. I wasn’t in need for any guarantee but I needed you as much as you’ve needed me.

I don’t want to be alone in an empty room left with that soft pursuit of  desire, with some words that are left unsaid.

Your voice in my head sounds like drums following the rush hour, it’s nothing but a lonely hour.

The texture of your delicate hair running between my fingers…

Your hands around me feels like I’m sheltered in a castle…

Our heart beats are drawing a harmony like a cool jazz night…

Your eyes are scanning me for no other glimpse shall be as attractive as yours…

Our tears that tasted like deluxe red wine at the end of each fight…

Our endless fights that only proved love and jealousy as i rested next to my love…

There is nothing that can be done, nothing that I have…

Yet this fold of memories that is worth gold in such a furtive world, I’d burn it; yet I’ll keep needing you.

I need you!

For I will always give in to you!